Horror Flick
by Neongene
Summary: Based on Scary Movie 12 Our hero's are holding up in a mansion to wait out a nasty storm, only they might not be alone. LOL fun around every corner. WARNING people with heart problems or who may be pregnant or nursing should not read this Fic.


"Horror Flick"

"Horror Flick"

The skies were unmerciful as huge drops of ran cascaded down from the clouds and fell effortlessly towards the ground.Feet slopping under the mud could be heard in the faraway distance as the storm grew in intensity.The lightning reached up to the heavens and released a shattering thunderclap.Three figures could hardly be made out as the sheets of rain obscured what small view they had.Small cries echoed through the perilous night as the storm fell right on top of them.

Ash, Misty and Brock were running down the soggy wet trail attempting to escape the fury of the storm.As streaks of lightning rolled across the sky, brief flashes illuminated the forest around them for mere seconds.The light bounded off the tangled masses of trees and vegetation, the shadows seemed to create ominous shadows with large mangled hands which seemed to reach out and try to grab them as they sprinted past.

They stopped momentarily to take shelter under a willow tree.The storm raged on as the thunder grew nearer and in more succession.Misty frightfully turned and looked up to the old tree.It's long slender leaves reached down the forest floor and waved slightly in the harsh wind.As the flashes of light reached them bumps, hallows and knots in the tree seemed to carve out the form of an old mans face.She cringed inwardly and pushed Ash and Brock to keep moving, so as to get away from the frightfully evil tree.

Pikachu gripped onto Ash shirt as it seeked shelter inside his jacket.Togepi was blissfully unaware of the danger of the situation as it enjoyed the show nature was presenting to it.

Ash struggled to climb a slippery outcrop of semite rock.He turned to help his friends up; just then a bolt of lightening crashed down from the sky and struck a maple tree.The sap boiled instantaneously and disintegrated the trunk from the inside out.The shards of bark flew through the air as the canopy landed loudly on the muddy ground.

"HOLY SHIT!"Ash exclaimed.

Misty and Brock quickly scrambled onto the ledge and ran across the fiery remains of the once proud maple.The wind picked up speed and blew the rain horizontally, stinging their eyes and face."ITS GOING UP MY NOSE!" Misty yelled.

They all crouched down behind an old rock wall.They huddled together as they braced against the increasing wind.It was pure chaos as they could hardly hear there own breath as they sucked in oxygen to heal their burning lungs.

Brock peered into the raging darkness.And with the multiple flashes of the lightening filling the sky he was able to make out a shape.He strained is eyes and blocked the rain with his hand from obscuring his view.The lightning flashed again and he could finally make out the unforgettable shape of a house.Ash and Misty were unable to hear his shouts and pleas as Brock finally shoved them in the direction of the building.For the first time Misty saw it as it materialized in front of them out of the storm.

They all rushed towards the front door and realized that it wasn't a house it was a mansion.Without wasting any time Ash pounded on the huge metal doors.  
"AVON CALLING!!!" There was no answer.Brock, out of desperation shoved Ash out of the way and started slamming into the door with his shoulder, trying to bust it open. "OPEN THE FRICK'N DOOR!!!!"After a few more attempts Brock backed off and rubbed his shoulder.

Misty reached out and grabbed the doorknob.She easily pushed the door open and jumped inside. Ash and Brock had sweatdrops as the stood in the rain.They both quickly ran inside and shut the door behind them.

Inside the mansion, it was as dark as the night and incredible dusty.Cloth's covered what little furniture were inside and cobwebs littered the ceiling.There was a dry rising smell and the floors creaked as they walked into the center of the foyer.Ash whipped the water from his jacket"……………….hello? um……..sorry to burst in like this……..we were wondering if we could stay here and wait out the storm………"Ash searched for somebody to talk to but he found nothing.He waited for an answer, but got none."Hmmmm, guess nobody's home…….."

Misty checked on Togepi, who was sleeping. "I don't know if I want to stay here…its creepy……"

Ash dumped his backpack on an old table and walked towards the staircase."it kinda homey……….did you hear that?"

A small creaking noise could be heard from somewhere near him.Suddenly the floor gave way from underneath his feet and he fell trough the wooden planks.Misty and Brock dove to catch him but it was to late.The house shook with each sub floor Ash fell through.

***CRASH!*** "OW!"** *CRUSH!* **"ARGH!" ***BEJORK!* **"Bejork? I mean…AHH!"

He landed in a heap in a laundry hamper in the basement.Misty stuck her head down the long hole as she stared worriedly at Ash."you okay?!"

He ripped off a urine soaked comforter from his face and stared back at her."yeah, luckily these old soiled bed sheets broke my fall……….._egh_…be a dear…..run a bath….."He sat himself up and climbed out of the hamper.Ash had fallen through 3 floors and ended up unscathed."I'm a lucky bastard….."He took a look around at his surroundings.As he looked for a door he pushed aside some boxes and discovered the breaker.He opened up the rusted doors and found that many fuses were blown but a few remained.He pumped the handle to get a charge and flipped the main power switch.All over the mansion the lights came to life and flickered as they swayed from the ceiling.

"booyah! I da man…who da man?….I da man…ya…um…"The light bulb above the fuse box got brighter and brighter, suddenly it exploded sending glass shards everywhere.Misty and Brock stared at the ceiling as all the lights exploded from the overcharge.Once again, they where in compete darkness, only the light form the storm gave them .Ash lit a match and inspected the fuses.

"SHIT! Fuck me up the ass with a big rubber dick! Now they're all blown…..OW FUCK!" Ash quickly threw down the match and stuck his finger in his mouth.

"how the hell will I get out of here?"It was far to dark and with three floors to get back to Brock and Misty, it was impossible.He looked back up at the hole he made.

"hey Brock, throw down your flashlight!"  
"k, ready!?"

"Ready!"  
"You sure!?"  
"Yeah throw it down already!"

The flashlight fell through the hole and right at Ash.He raised his hands ready to catch it."I got it…..i got it…."It slipped right through his fingers and cracked him in the head.He went ass over backwards and landed on his face..

From above Brock and Misty could hear cursing and swearing.Brock sighed and looked at Misty. "he wasn't ready."

Ash shone the light up the hole. "Just stay there! I'll be up in a minute!"  
Misty sighed. "But you always get lost!"   
Ash laughed. "I do not get lost all the time, I merely investigate alternative destinations."  
"Yeah, and you not a total ass, but you develop a case of rectal-cranial inversion!"

"Oh yeah? Well you nag to much!"

Brock corrected him. "She doesn't nag you, she's verbally repetitive."

Ash gave them the finger"will you stop with the goddamn politically correct shit!"

"You started it!" Misty yelled.

"I did not you two bit whore!"

Brock corrected him again."She's not a two bit whore!"

Misty looked up to him "Thank you Brock"

"She's a low cost provider!"

Misty punched him in the face."And your not a bad dancer, your just overly Caucasian!"  
Brock rubbed his nose. "What's wrong with my dancing? The girls at the club like my Brocko shuffle step dance move."  
"You were drunk."  
"I wasn't drunk……….I was chemically inconvenienced."

Pikachu rubbed his temples. "pika………"

Ash had had enough and left the squabble in search of a way out."Twat…, now how do I get out of here?"His eyes landed on a door on the far wall of the basement. "Shibby."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ 

After their fight Brock and Misty decided to get comfy and settle in for the night.They ventured upstairs to see if there was anybody home and if there were any bedrooms.After searching they found the place to be totally empty but completely furnished.Everything had an inch of dust on it.Misty stuck out her tongue in disgust.

"it's way to dusty, my allergies won't be able take this."

Brock wiped off the mirror and fixed his hair. "place isn't that dusty."

Misty walked over to Brock and held her clean finger tip in his face.She reached back and swiped it through the air.She brought her finger back up to Brocks face. resting on the tip was a ball of lint."okay, so maybe it is dusty, but this just calls for SUPER BROCK!"He whirled around, stopped and revealed himself to be wearing a pink apron.He had a bandanna on and brought out a vacuum cleaner from whereabouts unknown. "WHO-HA!"He ran around the room in his cleaning frenzy.Soon as the cloud of smoke settled, Misty saw that the beds where clean, and made, the dust was gone and the smell had vanished.Misty inspected the room. "hmmmmm, very good Brock."She stepped onto the rug when suddenly a blast of dust and dirt flew out from underneath it.She hacked and coughed as the room was once again covered in filth."*cough* you just swept everything under the rug didn't you?"

Brock twiddled his thumbs nervously. "nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn….yes..yes I did."

Suddenly there was a loud crash from downstairs. "what the hell was that?!"  
They ran out and slid down the banister.Misty quickly jumped off, but Brock slammed his nuts into the decorative metal sphere at the base."_UHHHH!!"_

Misty whipped her head around. "What was that noise!"

Brock's face turned blue as he held onto his balls. "That…was…me…"

Misty walked into the middle of the foyer and looked around. "I'm not talking about you numnuts, the sound we _both_ heard!"Brock continued to roll on the ground in agony.

Misty nervously scanned the open rooms and found nothing.She made her way back to the foyer and again found nothing."this place is weird.."suddenly a hand wrapped around her head and clasped onto her face.She tried to scream but her cries were muffled.She whirled around smacked her assailant in the face.A sickening thud resonated throughout the foyer as Ash crumpled to the floor. 

"I…wa?"

Ash rubbed his face. "can't cha take a joke"Misty released her breath."you scared me you prick!"

Ash got up and walked over to Brock. "you okay bud"  
Brock slowly got up clutching his sack."strong……like…….bull……"His eyes rolled back in his head and fell onto the staircase.

A cold wind blew past them, it made their hair stand up on end and shivers go down their spine.They all listened as the storm raged on outside their sanctuary.Misty wrapped her arms around herself."this place gives me the willies……..I don't want to stay here." Ash pointed out a window."you'd rather go out there!"A lightning bolt flashed right outside the mansion which gave off a deafening boom.Misty jumped and latched onto Ash."damn girl! You don't have to step on the gas that fast!"Misty quickly let him go.

"you saying I'm easy!"

Brock spread the two apart. "okay guys let's calm down, misty is not easy………..she's horizontally accessible!"

Ash and Misty stomped kicked Brock in the shins."will you shut the fuck up with all that politically correct shit!"

Brock rubbed his ankles. "sorry……..wait………..do guys hear that?"

They all strained to listen but at first Misty and Ash could only hear the sound of rain pelting the roof above them.Ash was about to leave when something caught his ear.It sounding like a wailing noise, he thought it was the wind, but it was more ghostly.The moans grew louder they all moved closer to one another.Misty's lips trembled as she backed up into Ash and Brock."what's that noise?!" she whispered.Soon after the wailing stopped.They all took a relieved breath when the something struck the door.

*Clang!*

They all grabbed onto each other and screamed in fear.

"WAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!!"

The front door blew open as leaves were swept into the foyer.Lightening struck and lit the area, showing a glimpse at the horrible creature that stood before them.

"hey!…..it the twerps!"  
Ash held up the flashlight and shone it on the creature."huh?!…..Meowth!!"

The light sparkled off the charm adorning its head."what are yous doing here?!"

Just then two soggy people fell to the floor."Jessie and James!?" Ash yelled.

Team Rocket closed the door behind them and strained the water out of their hair.

"stupid storm, I'll get spilt ends for sure!"Jessie looked up and for the first time saw the twerps."what are you doing here!?" 

Ash pointed outside. "We're hiding from the storm……what about you." 

Jessie huffed. "as you can see kid it's not exactly walking weather out there!"  
Jessie suddenly came to a odd realization."……..now's our chance to steal Pikachu!"  
A large thunderbolt crashed outside the house."how dramatic!" James squealed.

They were about to face off when Brock jumped in the way."okay guys! Let's not do this!It pissing buckets outside and we all need to wait out the storm.So let's make a truce for tonight only!"James and Jessie seemed hesitant at first but they didn't want to steal Pikachu and run back out into the storm.

"this isn't very Team Rocketish…..but okay…….for tonight _only" _

They all shook hands and glared at each other.There was an odd silence between them as they had no idea of what to do next. Misty spoke up."why don't we all go to the kitchen and see if there is anything to eat."

The rumbling of Team Rockets stomachs drowned the constant thunderclaps of the storm outside.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ 

_"they think they can just came into my house……………………….my home………………my sanctuary……………….._

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

They all made their way to the kitchen where Brock brought out his gas grill and sandwiches.He passed them around and turned the camping stove on high.They all moved close to it as the heat penetrated their soggy clothes, and warmed their faces.They were quiet for the most part, until Ash spoke up.

"so……..how are things?"

Again silence but soon Misty thought she would get the ball rolling.

"okay does anybody have a story they could tell?I have one.One day this man was driving down a back road when he ran over a rooster. The man knew that since he was close to a farm it had to belong to it.So the man went to the farmhouse and told the farmer what had happened.'I'm sorry sir, I ran over you rooster, I wish to replace it for you.'The farmer looked at him and then pointed at the barn.He said. 'the chickens are in there…….fuck as many as you can.'".

They all slapped the table with fits of laughter.

Brock shushed everybody as he was getting ready to tell a story of his own.

"okay, okay…..A man came home late at night and went to his room.When he got there he found his wife in bed with another man.Completely pissed off, the man grabbed the man by his cock and dragged him to his tool shed.The husband put his cock in the vice and broke off the handle.He rummaged around for a hacksaw while the naked guy was getting quite afraid.The husband walked over holding a saw, the naked guy said 'you aren't gonna cut me cock off?!'and the man laugh and handed him the saw. 'no….you are….i'm setting fire to the shed!'"

They all giggled and wiped their tears of laughter away.  
James thought a moment and raised his hand."I have a _sad _story to tell."  
They all stopped laughing and listened intently as James began to speak.

"when I was a lad my dad worked in a factory and I would visit him often.One day a horrible accident occurred and my father got his head cut off.So I put his head in a bag of ice and went to the hospital……they said he was dead when he got there………..they said he suffocated in the bag."They all giggled as James continued."and if that wasn't enough bad news for one day, my brother phoned me that night and he told me that his father had died as well………"

Pikachu fell off the table as the others grabbed their sides from laughing so hard.James became shocked as he saw them laugh at his story. "How dare you laugh of my fathers death! It was horrible for me to lose my father at such a young age……"

They all uneasily rubbed their heads."s.ss.sorry…..I though it was a joke"

James depressingly stared at the floor.

There was another odd silence between them.Ash then thought of another idea.

"okay how about we go around the table and ask one person a very personal question that they have to tell."  
They all agreed and played rock-scissor-paper to find out who would go first, Misty won.

She looked around the table and eyes Brock."okay, Brock, here's you question……..what was your first sexual experience?"  
He was taken aback at first but soon loosened up. 

"hmmmmm..okay got it."

"yeah?" they all said 

"I was 14"

"uh-huh" 

"I was on a bus, asleep"

"yeah?" they said getting excited

"I woke up and some old dude was touching me"

They all fell off their chairs in stupidity.Ash got back in his chair."um, lets forget about the game…….I gotta take a crap."Ash got up to leave and was closely followed by Misty and Jessie.

"where are you two going?" Brock asked.

"going to the little girls room okay!"

They all left leaving Brock, James and Meowth in the kitchen alone.Brock rapped his fingers on the table and stared at James."sooooo……..James……you and Jessie…….have you ever…you know?"

James stared at him confused.

"what?"  
"have you ever…ya know?"

"what?"  
"you know...have you?"

"what?!"

"you _know_"

"what!? I don't know, just say it man!"  
"have you ever had _sex?_"

James looked at him in shock."you don't beat around the bush do you!"

"well?"  
"yes……I think so…..i'm not sure."  
"what happened?"  
"okay….I was there……..and so was she……..and so where our friends…'the genitals'…all 6 of us were there."

"uh?…….oh, and none of you could remember.."

"no..no…..well I did, for a bit and then she made me block it out….that's it! She's remembers and I'm not allowed."

Just then they heard someone scream from in the hallway.They all rushed outside the kitchen. "what!! what is it!!!!" Brock yelled. 

They saw Misty with her back against the wall and she was shaking like a leaf.Brock ran up and grabbed her shoulders."what happened!"She pointed at the wall in front of her.Brock turned to see that there was something written on it in huge red letters.

"it says 'get out or pay'………………….did you write this?"

Misty punched him in the gut. "of course not you idiot!"

At that moment Ash walked up to them."nothing feels better then a taking a huge dump………..what is it guys?"  
Misty grabbed him by the scruff of his shirt."did you write that!"  
Ash blinked."Write what?"

Misty pointed to the wall. "That writing over there!……huh?!"

The wall was blank. The mysterious writings were gone."okay…….getting a little afraid now.."

They turned as the heard another scream coming from the lobby.James forced his way past them. "that was Jessie!' he squealed.

They all ran down the corridor and gasped at what they saw.Jessie was floating 10 feet above the ground and looking quite befuddled."HELP!!" 

They stood there dumbfounded.They ran underneath her and tried to figure out why she was hanging in mid air.James strained his eyes to look for a wire she might of gotten caught on.Then without warning she dropped form the ceiling and right on top of them.They laid in heap on the ground broken backwards and twisted in different positions.Jessie slowly got off followed and helped James and Brock off.Ash and Misty were laying on each other, the old 69.James, Jessie and Brock couldn't help but laugh.As soon as misty realized where her face was she jumped off him and landed on something squishy.James bent over to look. "I think your sitting on Meowth, I don't think he can breath his arms are flailing wildly……oh wait never mind, he stopped."

They jerked their heads up to see a basketball tumble down the stair case.They all listened as they could hear a voice coming from the top of the stairs.It sounded almost like a child's. 

"_somebody play with me…."_

_ _

Everyone huddled together in fear, but Brock picked up the ball and looked at it, then back up the stairs.

"you want some of dis shit?"  
He then demonstrated his abilities by dribbling the ball through his legs.

"Huh? Huh? You wanna play? You wanna play dis shit?"

He dribbled the ball all over the lobby.

"you ain't got notin on me bitch!"

He ran to one corner of the room and sprinted towards the center.

"here's some Vince Carter shit right here!"

He leapt into the air and dramatically reached out and slammed the ball threw the chandelier above them.

"BOOYA!Dats wot I'm talkin bout!"As Brock 'raised the roof' and did 'the running man' he showed team rocket why he was called 'overly Caucasian'.

James shook his head in disgust. "dis some fucked up shit right here."

Ash pointed to the walls."it's about to get more fucked….."

They gasped as they saw the walls spurt out a red sticky fluid.Misty rubbed the gunk between her fingers and sniffed them."it's……….spaghetti sauce……..oregano………"

The sauce slid down the walls and collected on the floor.Ash looked at team Rocket.  
"uhhhh, are we supposed to be scared right now?"

Jessie smelled the air."This place smells like an Italian restaurant"

The house shook as loud evil laughter filled the air. 

"_BWAAHAHAHAHAHAH!!"  
_They all scattered around the foyer and grabbed onto the surrounding furniture.Misty held onto Togepi in fear."I don't want to die! It's not fair!"

Ash looked down at her, concerned.

"The most unfair thing about life is the way it ends.I mean, life is tough, it takes up a lot of your time.What do you get at the end of it?DEATH!What's that a bonus?!I think the life cycle is all backwards.You should die first; get it out of the way.Then you go live in an old age home.You get kicked out when you're to young, go collect all your pension, then, when you start work, you get a gold watch on your first day.You work forty years until you're young enough to enjoy your retirement.You drink alcohol; you party, and get ready for high school.You go to primary school, you become a kid, you play, you have no responsibilities, you become a little baby, you go back into the womb, you spend your last 9 months floating with luxuries like central heating, spa and room service on tap.Then you finish off as an orgasm! That's the way it should be!"

Suddenly the furniture was lifted off the floor and they circled around the room with incredible speed. 

Misty stared wide-eyed in fear. "okay…I need an old priest and a young priest……."

Brock dove out of the way, nearly missing a table slamming into him.

"what's going on!"

Misty whapped him. "can't you see! It's a poltergeist!"

Brock gasped in shock. "OH NO! Not a poltergeist!………..what's a poltergeist?"

Misty pointed to where James was being chased by a cabinet.

_"The power of Christ compels you! The power of Christ compels you! EHEHEHEOOOO!"_

_ _

Jessie grabbed Meowth and ran to the kitchen hallway, she turned to the frightened onlookers. "Let's make like a tree and get the hell out of here!"

They all followed her leaving the chaos behind.As they ran down the endless maze of corridors after several minutes Ash noticed that they were missing a few people.   
"Where's Brock and Jessie...and James……..and Meowth……and Pikachu?"Misty looked all around her but found no trace of them.

"oh great, now we'll have to look for them, let's split up and meet back at the kitchen."

Ash nodded and hugged Misty tightly.He pulled her off and gazed into her eyes.She was a little suspicious. "what was that for?"

He brushed a strand of hair of her face."in case we never see each other again…."

She smiled and ran off down the hall, with a 'kill me' sign hanging off her back.

************

Brock and James were misdirected and ended walking down an unlit hallway.They felt their way by feeling the walls as they walked.James was getting more spooked.  
"This is like walking down a dark alley in the wrong side of town, I have the feeling like someone's going to jump us."

Brock continued to feel his way through the dark.

"Hey I figured out a way to get muggers to leave you alone."  
"oh yeah?"

"yeah, muggers won't attack you if they think your crazy, then they think they'll have to explain what their doing."

"uh-huh"  
"so all you have to is look crazy, if you're walking down the street and you have like ten dollars on you or something, the first thing I do is I wet my pants…..so I get a big ol'stain…or I push a baby carriage down the street and put garbage in it."

"uh-huh, anything less involved?"

"well the moment you are aware your being robbed…throw up on your money.I got a lot of neat solutions like that, take the overpopulation issue."  
"yeah?"  
"it's simple, death penalties for parking violations."  
"oh……….. right"

They continued to work their way down the corridor in the dark

*************** 

_"and now the final stage of my plan…BWAHAHAHAHAH!!!Chahahca*cough* CHA *cough*horw ***HACK*** rggggggghhh PHFFFFFTOOO! ***Cough*** I'm okay…"_

_*************** _

Jessie found her way back to the foyer.She circled the room twice to see if she could find anybody, but it seemed she was alone.A cold chilling breeze blew through the room as Jessie slowly crept to the stair case.Then suddenly to her surprise she heard a voice coming from the top of the stairs.".James?……..Meowth?………twerps?…..you there?"

Then right in front of her eyes a strange being rose in front of her.It was huge, deathly pale and was covered in a long flowing cloak.It seemed to be raised slightly off the floor as it slowly floated down the stairs.

Petrified, all Jessie could do was piss herself."h….help…"

The mysterious figure laughed manically and reared back its head showing a skull.

"_BWAHAHAHAHAHAHH!!!…UH?_" 

Then out of nowhere its cloak got caught on the rail. "_waa? Oh come on!_"

It tugged on it to try and get it lose but instead lost its footing and tumbled down the stairs.The creature landed in a pile of rags and slightly stirred grabbing its head.

From out of all the hallways, the rest of Team Rocket and our heroes ran out.They stopped suddenly and stared at the ominous creature lying on the floor.The poltergeist tired to get up but before it could Brock ran over to it pointed at it and waving his fist."lets smoke his ass!"

The others followed Brock as they ganged up on the creature.Brock had it in a full nelson, Misty was clinging onto its leg and biting it, Ash repeatedly kicked the poltergeist in the junk and James and Jessie went agro on it.

After 5 minutes they back up and noticed the rags were all torn off.They gasped as they saw that it wasn't a ghost but a man in a disguise.Brock propped the mysterious man up and yanked off the skeleton mask.They gasped as they saw that the person was…

"PROFFESSOR OAK!" they all screamed.

"why did you kids have to come here!"

Misty rubbed her head dumbfounded."There's something _very_ Scooby-doo about this……"

Brock released him and helped him up."this is my mansion and after 12 years I've come back to do some spring cleaning and have a little vacation.When you guys showed up you ruined all my plans."  
Brock rejoined the group. "But why?"  
"because I'm the worlds leading pokemon expert, if people thought I was talking time off they would accuse me of not being dedicated…..besides I have that fuck-up Tracey watching the lab for me."

Misty stared in disbelief."but why go through so much trouble?"  
"*sigh*…I didn't want you kids to think I was lazy so I tried to trick you in leaving by scaring you off."

Brock pointed at the walls. "you mean you did the sauce spewing out the walls?"

"yes…"

"and the flying furniture?"  
"yes…"  
"And Jessie hanging off the chandelier?"

"yes.."

"and the basketball?"

"yes…"

"and the mysterious voices?"

"yes.."

"and the writing on the wall?"

"….ye….wait…no I didn't write on any walls."

They all raised their brows and looked at each other strangely.

Misty looked down at Togepi. "but if you didn't do it….then who did?"  
"_HAHAHAHAHAH!!!"_

They all jerked heads back to Ash.He was laughing menacingly with a strange blue aura all around him."_you fools! I am the poltergeist that rules this mansion…..and it was me who wrote on the wall!"_

They all laughed at the ghost and rolled their eyes.

"_hmmm? What?!"_

Brock pointed at him mockingly."you fucking amateur!Writing on walls?! Shit! A fucking 2 year old can do that shit! OooOOooh I'm like so fucking scared! "

Misty shoved Prof. Oak in his face. "you see this guy, he ain't even dead and he spooked us worse n'you!"

The poltergeist threw up his hands."_hey hey! Ease up off my back ho!"_

"what did you call me!"

"_to quote Sayuri : Why don't you dip yourself in flour and make a skank biscuit!"  
_Misty had steam pouring out her ears, as she was 2 seconds from losing it.

"WHAT DID YOU SAY!?!!"  
"_I said… WHY don't YOU DIP youself IN flour and..oh shit."  
_With out warning Misty reached back and hurled Togepi at the 'Ghost' Ash.It was nearly able to dodge the giggling egg pokemon as it smash through a boarded up window.Misty gasped as she realized what she just did.They watched as the wooden planks fell off, rays of sunlight shone in and landed on the poltergeist.

"_ooh, dat ain't good.."_

Almost instantaneously the poltergeist burst into flames and turned into a pile of dust on the floor.

James walked up and poked the remains."that was unexpected….." 

Just then, the floor underneath him swung open and threw him into a wall.They all gasped as they saw the real Ash climb out of the secret door.He stood up and brushed himself off.He looked over at Brock and Misty and saw that Team Rocket was there as well."what are you guys doing here? Damn this place was bigger then I thought…"

They mouths hung open as Misty clenched her fists."AAHA!! I knew you would get lost ya retard!"

"so I took a detour…..why is Prof. Oak here?"

Brock excitedly pointed out the window."Never mind that shit, the storms over!"

They all cheered happily and hugged each other.Misty grabbed her bag and ran toward the door, she then turned her head to the others."Lets get the hell out of here!"

As she was running she didn't' see the gap in the floorboards as her shoe caught on the edge.She pitched forward and shot her hands out to absorb the impact.Unfortunately she accidentally swiped Ash's crotch.He turned beat red, but Misty was unaware of it.Ash ran past Misty and the others."uh…I have to go to the bathroom."He yelled, while desperately trying to hide the bulge in his pants.

Brock, Misty, Pikachu and Team rocket all stepped out into the sun filled air and soak in the warmth.Jessie and Meowth walked over to their soaking wet jeep.Misty searched for Togepi, James walked over to Brock and tapped him on the back.

"hey Brock?"  
"yeah?"  
"I'm gonna be holding a party at my parents mansion next week, you seem like an okay guy…would you like to come?"  
"sure, what kind of party is it?"  
"oh…there'll be barbeque with hotdogs and burgers and chicken and shagging…and more burgers and swimming and shagging, people swapping partners….and everyone will be shagging every one else and they're be more burgers and pork ribs….and lot more shagging going on."

Brock's eyes went wide.

"Christ! What should I wear?"

"hmm? Oh….wear what ever you want…… looks like it'll just be the two of us."

"………..I'll pass"

Misty ran over to Brock carrying a slightly dazed Togepi."will you get Ash so we can leave all ready."

"okay."  
***********

inside the mansion Brock knocked on the door to the bathroom.He didn't hear anything, so he picked the lock and pushed the door open.

"Ash?….ASH! what are you doing?!"  
  


Ash was in the corner of the room with his pants down and a kleenex in his hand.He quickly turned to Brock trying to cover himself up.

"What! I wasn't doing anything!"

Brock angrily pointed his finger.

"Now listen up ya little bastard! Now you quit with all your wanking or you'll go bloody blind! That's what happens when you whack-off to much , you go blind! Is that what you want? To go blind! Now stop with you wanking or you'll go freaking blind!" 

"………um………….I'm over here Brock……"

"……uh?……"

"……kinda solves the mystery of why you have no eyes……."

"I HAVE FUCKING EYES!!"

~~~~~~~~ ^_^~~~~~~~~ 

**Authors notes: **Well that was my second parody, and if you like that then please read "Dude, where's my hat?".I have 1 more story to do out of two possible ideas, either, "There's something about Misty" or "JuASHic Park"You can vote to see which one I write.These 3 Fics will make up my 'Parodi-ce Theater'.All Fics will be imported to this chaptered Fic.

Also I put a view small hints and lines from my upcoming Fic 'road trip-crossing the Atlantic'.One of the biggest was `Misted Dreamz' aka 'Sayuri' and that 'skank' line.It's a small preview, put it just shows you what you can expect.

There was some more vulgar comedy in this one, "dude. Where's my hat?" is a bit lighter and there's not much swearing.But for the stuff I wanted to put in here, say… Ash getting caught jacking off, was most defiantly NC-17.but if you think about it, its all harmless fun.

So if some way this has offended you…..well……sorry but hey, it was funny wasn't it…….I hope so……..*cough*

Neongene

Anime lover, Fanfic writer, chronic masturbator…..whoops…..I mean …collector of very small rocks….*cough*

  
  


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